The Liberal Playbook's Missing Reference Page

Published on October 30, 2005 By TaBoo Tenente In Politics

Good morning, everyone! I thought I might offer a brief history of the origins for the left-wing manual so graciously provided by ModerateMan (provided in his article "How to be a Good Liberal"--Link), as I noticed that there were no cited references. I hope MM will permit me to tack this on, in the spirit of textual authenticity.

Before we get to the specific references, I should say that the entire book was actually a memo from KRove to GB.2. and was lifted from GB.2's desk before he got in to work (at 4pm) by a liberal stealing a play from the whole watergate playbook.

1. Never take a hard, fast stand, or a la Webster, an impulsive, non-rational position to which you subsequently refuse to reconsider. Admittedly this play, good ole' number one left-wing standby, happens to remain in the book at the top of the list on how to act presidentially. As a side note, it was Rove who, after contemplating the polls, determined that rational thought wasnt showing itself as strongly as he would have suspected, and determined that rational behavior might not go over well with the slight majority (good thing for Bush, huh?)

2. Looking good is better than having any substance. As a curious twist to the evolution of left-wing political strategy, there was a period of an eight year duration where the democrats could not wriggle their way into the oval office, and it was suggested that the party consider the man who at that time occupied the throne, study him, and try to see if there was any identifying characterists that could be gleaned, and then added to the playbook at number two. At that time, the office holder was not a deftly experienced politician, and, oddly enough, his background was that of an actor. He was very pretty, had tremendous reading skills, and excelled at having his impromptu q & a responses drowned out by helicopters at the snapping of a gesture-signals issued by his protective cabinet members.

3. (Please note: the most recent historical source for left-wing question avoidance was covered in the latter section of play#2.)

"Use ambiguous statements such as I think it's the wrong war, wrong time, then add but I support the troops, this makes you APPEAR to be patriotic and caring."

Of course, it would be childish to deny this particular liberal failing. The American people are by this time fully aware of the somewhat peculiar liberal stance, where protecting one's own troops comes at the expense of making sure you are involved in the right war. Without out a doubt the biggest liberal failure of the decade--so large that now the failing is common knowledge--that the treasonous liberals are actually against fighting immoral, non-sequitar wars and are rather concerned about killing off their own troops for such immoral, non-sequitar wars. It is, of course, against the constitution to speak truth when your government is lying, and as such, trying to save sons and daughters by preventing an oil war was traitorous, and such detestable, rational individuals need to be shot and killed.

4. (Please refer to encyclopedia entry on church-chaining)

5.Here is a major hole in the liberal playbook, the so-called oppression proof. The left-wing perspective has always reflected an antiquated notion of democracy, which was soundly drubbed and deservedly refuted during the mccarthy years. While conservatives have finally set the record straight by removing any suggestion of egalitarian society from the prevailing capitalist system, liberals will continue to attempt allowances for those unrepresented by society! As absurd as this tactic may seem, the liberals continue to site statistics showing that the unrepresented masses are in fact not isolated jellyheads, but vast urban populations. One particularly absurd position that the liberals take is the stance against a privatized health care system--as if everyone with any financial resources didn't know that a privatized health care system will cover (at slightly inflated cost) every human being who is already adequately covered!

6. A relatively recent addition to the left-wing canon, the history of this play originates from a single word: STRATEGERY.

7. For a long time, there was a distinction between the following two-positions: pro-choice and pro-abortion. One logical fallacy that encouraged this distinction was the liberal penchant for believing that women were capable of rational thought. The second, and most ridiculous logical fallacy here was the liberal belief that it would be unjust and unreasonable for the males in our patriarchal society to pretend we knew the female body better than the woman herself.

Thankfully, this distinction has been debunked over and over by conservative sooth-sayers. For it is common knowledge that liberals are indeed pro-abortion, rather than pro-choice. While this has not yet become part of the overall democratic public platform, sources suggest that the pro-abortion stance will not only include mandatory abortions for raped or underaged women, but in fact for every third child born in the United States.

Thus, doctors will allow two sequential conceptions to continue, while the third, per democratic pro-abortion stance, will be terminated. Further, it is believed, that because the erroneous theory of female self-determination has been successfully debunked, the pro-abortion stance will be enlarged to include every other conceived pairing of one X chromosome with another, thus any fertilized zygote determined to to have the female composition will be labeled with an odd number; while the second instance will be labeled with an even number. Of course, per pro-abortion stance, all even numbered zygotes will be terminated.

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Comments

Moderateman

on Oct 30, 2005

sweet TBT... I just love it when you get all educated on me. heh

Nice counterpoints btw.

A fan of yours still and always,

MM slowly drifting further to the right.

elie

TaBoo Tenente

on Oct 30, 2005

thanks, mm.

in my dotage i seem to slipping to the right as well, but it's an imperfect slipping . . . sliding and slipping on occasion back to the left . . . .

tbt

Moderateman

on Oct 30, 2005

2 by TaBoo Tenente
Sunday, October 30, 2005

in my dotage i seem to slipping to the right as well, but it's an imperfect slipping . . . sliding and slipping on occasion back to the left . . . .

I know what you mean, there are just some issues vanguarded by the left that I gaspppppp am torn over and suffering twinges of concious about. {womens right to choose}

TaBoo Tenente

on Oct 30, 2005

of course, when i mean slipping to the right, i mean im slipping toward the middle, like where kerry's policies might have been found . . . .

tbt

Furry Canary

on Oct 31, 2005

'twinges of concious ...'
But mainly unconscious, right MM?

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