The Unholy Conservative Obsession with Productivity

Hate is Only One Emotion

Published on December 19, 2004 By TaBoo Tenente In Politics

Freedom and productivity. Let's agree that both are important concepts. Yes? I'm glad.

Before we go on, though, hand-in-hand, skipping harmoniously through a field of daffodils, let's define these important concepts:

Freedom: The state of being at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint; or the power to determine action without restraint.

Productivity: The state of having power to generate, create, produce.

Are we still braiding daisy chains for each other? Maybe, maybe not. When either becomes an individual obsession, it affects the freedom and productivity of other people. The flock should say "That's baaaaad," but the conservative obsession says, "Fine. Go to hell."

We might as well discuss the issue of illegal immigration to our fine, free, productive nation:

Hell-bound Liberal: Hey, you understand that freedom allowed YOU to immigrate here in the first place, not to mention provided the motivation for you to immigrate here, right?

Frothing, Obsessed Conservative: Hey, why not bring up ancient Greece, or biblical Babylon while you're at it? Let's confine ourselves to the last 5 billion years, okay?

HBL: Er, 1960's too antique? 70's? 80's? It doesn't matter, really, FOC. This nation is made of immigrants,both legal and other, both arriving before we declared independance as well as after the sexy disco decade died. Just because you got in line before someone else did doesn't make you unique.

FOC: So you don't see a difference between legally immigrating and illegally slithering across the border?

HBL: I see two major differences. First: illegal immigration is a synonym in the conservative lexicon for Mexican immigration and legal immigration is a synonym for as rich as- or in business with- or sleeping with- and at the same time praying to the same God as- you; second. . .no, actually, I just see just one major difference. That's the one.

FOC: Another flaming conspiracy theorist, huh? Just because the rules aren't perfect, you want to see some ig'nant slave-driver hidden in some master room, playing with a switchboard, changing rules for different folks.

HBL: Well, then, you tell me the difference between your type of immigration and the illegal type of immigration.

FOC: Are you a moron? The "illegal" type does not have to play by the rules, does not pay proper taxes while absorbing jobs, and requires disproportionate amounts of federal funding.

HBL: So their inalienable right to pursue freedom and productivity limits your inalienable right to pursue freedom and productivity?

FOC: Add "illegal" between "their and "freedom" somewhere, and "legal" between "your" and "freedom" somewhere in the statement above, and you're on to something. And get this! These illegal immigrants want us to speak their language instead of the other way; they want us to sacrifice our beliefs for the sake of theirs! What a trip!

HBL: Just to recap: their "illegal" pursuit of freedom is different from your own "legal" strategy. The "illegal" pursuit limits our freedom, costs us money, is unproductive, and is a drain on our economy.

Okay. You scrooge. You tight-fisted, short-sighted, hypocritical, nepotistic conservative obsessed mother of Joseph's aunt and uncle, and the dog, too, whatever his name was before Jose accidently ran him over with your John Deere while tending your personal putting green.

I was watching a Chris Rock routine last night, and he was discussing affirmative action. To paraphrase: "Don't get me wrong. I don't want to get into Harvard at the expense of some white boy with a better test score than I have. But if we tie. . .fine by me! I mean, Christ! He's had 400 more years to study for his frickin' SAT's than I had!"

I can't imagine that it makes productive sense to spend so much money keeping desperate people out of our country, instead of a short-term system of financial assistance. Think about yourselves: suppose you have a family. Suppose you don't have any money. Are you going to sit around, waiting for either your corrupt government to get its economy together, or the next government to the north to ease up on the reactionary hatred toward people it doesn't know?

Right. You'd pack a light bag, maybe a few sips of water and some beef jerky, a flashlight or something, and try to feed your damn family. Perhaps you'll manage to sneak your children past the frothing border vigilantes. Perhaps you'll try to sneak a little federal money to buy some frickin' rice. Perhaps you'll try to enroll your kids (you asshole) in school. You'll get a job. You'll work your frickin' ass to the tailbone. You'll love this country more than any other human being on this planet, and, given enough time, you'll be more devoted, more productive, more obsessed with freedom than anyone else, ever.

By the way, when I use the word "you" I mean the word "you". Yep.

Copyright ©2004, ©2005, ©2006 Joshua Suchman. All rights reserved.
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Comments (Page 3)

drmiler

on Dec 21, 2004

Reply #30 By: kingbee - 12/21/2004 3:24:24 AM
To come to this country legally does not take a lot of time or money

if you live in el salvador and have no money it takes a couple days riding on the roof of a freight car to get to the border (assuming you dont get brained by the robbers who prey on those goin north or tossed off by law enforcement in honduras or mexico). then you just need to convince the guys at the bridge to let you in. no problem.

And just what does this have to do with having the resources?

But it's not always that easy. Not everyone has the resources to do it legally.

To come to this country legally does not take a lot of time or money. To stay here (immigrate) does take both in large amounts! At least with all the legal BS they throw at you if you want to stay.

cactoblasta

on Dec 21, 2004

How exactly do you come to the US legally? I thought you had to qualify for a green card to get residency.

Dr Guy

on Dec 21, 2004

Hey Doc, if you want I have a pretty good recipe for making chorizo if your interested?

Sure! My Son loves it and so do I!

TaBoo Tenente

on Dec 21, 2004

cacto:

you know, that is in excellent question. let me see if i can find a good, comprehensive link to add here. the policy changes so often that it would be good to get a current statement here so we all know what we're talking about.

TBT

Dr Guy

on Dec 21, 2004

How exactly do you come to the US legally? I thought you had to qualify for a green card to get residency.

I am not sure of all of the legal ways to do it, but you can get temporary residence through a student visa. Then there is a 6 month visa for something or another, plus you can come over as a tourist (I think that is the 6 month visa).

TaBoo Tenente

on Dec 21, 2004

link to procedure for becoming a resident:
http://uscis.gov/graphics/howdoi/LPReligibility.htm
Link

as you can see, only certain people will be able to immigrate in a easy, expedient manner. if i was desperate and had a family in immediate need, this would not help me one bit. i understand that this is frustrating to many people who believe these immigrants are draining our economy, or are in some way subversively and unjustly entering the usa, but many have no choice. please consider that if given time, they will not only cease to create a spending deficit, but will become productive patriots. they are not evil people who believe that they have a special right to duck procedure; they are desperate and have no choice.

here are other links of varying degrees of usefulness.

-------------------------
Link to the official comprehensive, overly exhaustive admistrative law:

http://uscis.gov/lpBin/lpext.dll/inserts/slb/slb-1/slb-21?f=templates&fn=document-frame.htm#slb-act
Link
-------------------------

Link to a legal site, discussing the procedure to change status from legal resident to citizen: http://www.twmlaw.com/resources/general13cont.htm
Link
-------------------------

hope this helps.

TBT

drmiler

on Dec 21, 2004

Reply #36 By: TaBoo Tenente - 12/21/2004 1:57:46 PM
link to procedure for becoming a resident:
http://uscis.gov/graphics/howdoi/LPReligibility.htm
Link

as you can see, only certain people will be able to immigrate in a easy, expedient manner. if i was desperate and had a family in immediate need, this would not help me one bit. i understand that this is frustrating to many people who believe these immigrants are draining our economy, or are in some way subversively and unjustly entering the usa, but many have no choice. please consider that if given time, they will not only cease to create a spending deficit, but will become productive patriots. they are not evil people who believe that they have a special right to duck procedure; they are desperate and have no choice.

Hey, your link is to apply for permament residency only. That has *nothing to do with getting a green card or applying for a visa. Getting either one is not a long drawn out or expensive process.

TaBoo Tenente

on Dec 22, 2004

you're right, dr. miller, i accidently deleted a link to the private site i found, which listed instructions for green cards. if you have a good link id be interested to see it.

TBT

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