The Unholy Conservative Obsession with Productivity

Hate is Only One Emotion

Published on December 19, 2004 By TaBoo Tenente In Politics

Freedom and productivity. Let's agree that both are important concepts. Yes? I'm glad.

Before we go on, though, hand-in-hand, skipping harmoniously through a field of daffodils, let's define these important concepts:

Freedom: The state of being at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint; or the power to determine action without restraint.

Productivity: The state of having power to generate, create, produce.

Are we still braiding daisy chains for each other? Maybe, maybe not. When either becomes an individual obsession, it affects the freedom and productivity of other people. The flock should say "That's baaaaad," but the conservative obsession says, "Fine. Go to hell."

We might as well discuss the issue of illegal immigration to our fine, free, productive nation:

Hell-bound Liberal: Hey, you understand that freedom allowed YOU to immigrate here in the first place, not to mention provided the motivation for you to immigrate here, right?

Frothing, Obsessed Conservative: Hey, why not bring up ancient Greece, or biblical Babylon while you're at it? Let's confine ourselves to the last 5 billion years, okay?

HBL: Er, 1960's too antique? 70's? 80's? It doesn't matter, really, FOC. This nation is made of immigrants,both legal and other, both arriving before we declared independance as well as after the sexy disco decade died. Just because you got in line before someone else did doesn't make you unique.

FOC: So you don't see a difference between legally immigrating and illegally slithering across the border?

HBL: I see two major differences. First: illegal immigration is a synonym in the conservative lexicon for Mexican immigration and legal immigration is a synonym for as rich as- or in business with- or sleeping with- and at the same time praying to the same God as- you; second. . .no, actually, I just see just one major difference. That's the one.

FOC: Another flaming conspiracy theorist, huh? Just because the rules aren't perfect, you want to see some ig'nant slave-driver hidden in some master room, playing with a switchboard, changing rules for different folks.

HBL: Well, then, you tell me the difference between your type of immigration and the illegal type of immigration.

FOC: Are you a moron? The "illegal" type does not have to play by the rules, does not pay proper taxes while absorbing jobs, and requires disproportionate amounts of federal funding.

HBL: So their inalienable right to pursue freedom and productivity limits your inalienable right to pursue freedom and productivity?

FOC: Add "illegal" between "their and "freedom" somewhere, and "legal" between "your" and "freedom" somewhere in the statement above, and you're on to something. And get this! These illegal immigrants want us to speak their language instead of the other way; they want us to sacrifice our beliefs for the sake of theirs! What a trip!

HBL: Just to recap: their "illegal" pursuit of freedom is different from your own "legal" strategy. The "illegal" pursuit limits our freedom, costs us money, is unproductive, and is a drain on our economy.

Okay. You scrooge. You tight-fisted, short-sighted, hypocritical, nepotistic conservative obsessed mother of Joseph's aunt and uncle, and the dog, too, whatever his name was before Jose accidently ran him over with your John Deere while tending your personal putting green.

I was watching a Chris Rock routine last night, and he was discussing affirmative action. To paraphrase: "Don't get me wrong. I don't want to get into Harvard at the expense of some white boy with a better test score than I have. But if we tie. . .fine by me! I mean, Christ! He's had 400 more years to study for his frickin' SAT's than I had!"

I can't imagine that it makes productive sense to spend so much money keeping desperate people out of our country, instead of a short-term system of financial assistance. Think about yourselves: suppose you have a family. Suppose you don't have any money. Are you going to sit around, waiting for either your corrupt government to get its economy together, or the next government to the north to ease up on the reactionary hatred toward people it doesn't know?

Right. You'd pack a light bag, maybe a few sips of water and some beef jerky, a flashlight or something, and try to feed your damn family. Perhaps you'll manage to sneak your children past the frothing border vigilantes. Perhaps you'll try to sneak a little federal money to buy some frickin' rice. Perhaps you'll try to enroll your kids (you asshole) in school. You'll get a job. You'll work your frickin' ass to the tailbone. You'll love this country more than any other human being on this planet, and, given enough time, you'll be more devoted, more productive, more obsessed with freedom than anyone else, ever.

By the way, when I use the word "you" I mean the word "you". Yep.

Copyright ©2004, ©2005, ©2006 Joshua Suchman. All rights reserved.
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Comments (Page 2)

TaBoo Tenente

on Dec 20, 2004

thanks, kingbee. the doi does two things: one, it states what a government's role is in relation to all people; and two, it declares that because the british empire has ceased to fulfill its mandate, then it was the colonies' duty to rebel.

dr. miller, i have no problem with having a system of laws. but i think while our system of laws isn't bad, it's not great, either. there's nothing wrong with allowing laws to evolve or even change, so long as they support the spirit of a goverment intended to include all individuals regardless of race or religion. this isn't an accusation, im trying to understand: is your biggest issue here the fact that they crossed the border illegally, when legal avenues exist to immigrate?

for me, there are two significant issues: one, the legal avenue has recently become very strict and unforgiving to many people who seek to immigrate from economic crises. the process can be way too lengthy for someone who is desperate; the second is that even if the usa cannot sanction illegal immigration, it cannot ignore these needs. i think most people object to large waves of immigration (which, as history has shown, tend to subside before creating any sort of economic strain--quite the contrary, actually) because they imagine that all of "our" jobs are being mopped up, our taxes are being spent, and our economy takes the shortfall rather than the failed host nation to provide adequate living conditions. honestly, though, the jobs acquired by immigrants initially are rarely jobs sought by citizens, and at some point, when through education, devotion, patriotism or simple hard work, they do manage to obtain a more competitive job, then these immigrants have ceased to become a strain on our economy, and instead are adding to the larger productivity. by increasing this productivity, they build and fund and support this capitalist system, creating competition and growth.

this is why the horrible seeming "30 billion dollar deficit" figure is not actually that bad, compared to things like our trade deficit figures.

more importantly, i feel like when laws are unjust, it is the duty of a people's government to make them just. a word, in this case, like "illegal" is just a word. if we feel like these families who seek immediate immigration are truly in need, and are eventually capable of adding to our economic and social culture, then we need to find a way. these people aren't cutting up our children or luring them to worship the devil, even if they speak differently and eat that damn chorizo which may taste good but is made of uterean lining, or some likewise foul substance.

but damn it, it tastes good!

TBT

Dr Guy

on Dec 20, 2004

eat that damn chorizo which may taste good but is made of uterean lining, or some likewise foul substance.

but damn it, it tastes good!

You had to ruin it for me! I use to love Chorizo, but I may think twice before eating it next time.

TaBoo Tenente

on Dec 20, 2004

you know, to be fair, i cant swear that uterean lining is the essential ingredient. it could be intestinal lining, or stomach lining. . . some sort of lining, i think.

i also believe (though im no gourmand) that you can purchase adulterated chorizo from supermarkets that is only as gross as normal sausage contents. yeah. still pretty gross, and still quite tasty!

TBT

Dr Guy

on Dec 20, 2004

i also believe (though im no gourmand) that you can purchase adulterated chorizo from supermarkets that is only as gross as normal sausage contents. yeah. still pretty gross, and still quite tasty!

Well, I dont get it from the supermarket, but from the Latin Markets here in town, and from the Butcher where my In Laws Live, so I guess it is not americanized!

Dont worry, I have eaten worse. I dont ask what is in something until after I decide whether I like it or not. Then I really dont care (unless it is hazardous to your health!)

Dr Guy

on Dec 20, 2004

i also believe (though im no gourmand) that you can purchase adulterated chorizo from supermarkets that is only as gross as normal sausage contents. yeah. still pretty gross, and still quite tasty!

Well, I dont get it from the supermarket, but from the Latin Markets here in town, and from the Butcher where my In Laws Live, so I guess it is not americanized!

Dont worry, I have eaten worse. I dont ask what is in something until after I decide whether I like it or not. Then I really dont care (unless it is hazardous to your health!)

drmiler

on Dec 20, 2004

Reply #16 By: TaBoo Tenente - 12/20/2004 1:00:33 PM
BR>more importantly, i feel like when laws are unjust, it is the duty of a people's government to make them just. a word, in this case, like "illegal" is just a word. if we feel like these families who seek immediate immigration are truly in need, and are eventually capable of adding to our economic and social culture, then we need to find a way. these people aren't cutting up our children or luring them to worship the devil, even if they speak differently and eat that damn chorizo which may taste good but is made of uterean lining, or some likewise foul substance.

but damn it, it tastes good!

TBT

Okay but then who's to say a law is unjust? You say it is and I say it's not. Go figure.

for me, there are two significant issues: one, the legal avenue has recently become very strict and unforgiving to many people who seek to immigrate from economic crises. the process can be way too lengthy for someone who is desperate; the second is that even if the usa cannot sanction illegal immigration, it cannot ignore these needs.

Why should they get a free pass when other immigrants from the exact same circumstances do not? And just why should we cater to those needs? Are they the needs of an Amican citizen? Sorry, but we have to come first.

drmiler

on Dec 20, 2004

Reply #20 By: Dr. Guy - 12/20/2004 3:14:02 PM
i also believe (though im no gourmand) that you can purchase adulterated chorizo from supermarkets that is only as gross as normal sausage contents. yeah. still pretty gross, and still quite tasty!

Well, I dont get it from the supermarket, but from the Latin Markets here in town, and from the Butcher where my In Laws Live, so I guess it is not americanized!
Dont worry, I have eaten worse. I dont ask what is in something until after I decide whether I like it or not. Then I really dont care (unless it is hazardous to your health!)

By the way Doc....there's nothing *in* chorizo that is gross. Now if you get in a casing that's different. The casing is what they call a natural casing which is cleaned intestinal lining. But then that holds true for *any* sausage in a natutral casing. So buy it in bulk instead.

Dr Guy

on Dec 20, 2004

nah! I love the casing! besides I dont know what is in it, I just know I like it. And I really dont care what is in it as I will continue to eat it (Unless it contains VIOXX;)

dharmagrl

on Dec 20, 2004

most illegal immigrants (not all, okay?) are in dire straits. you would do as they do if you faced similar situations.

Hell yes I would. If i knew that the only way to provide a semblance of a life for my family was to go to the US and work, albeit illegally...and if I also knew that the US would give me blanket immunity to deprtation, and would let me become a legal resident....well, I'd be stupid not to do it, wouldn't I?

TaBoo Tenente

on Dec 20, 2004

drmiller,

i dont love the idea of a free pass. i dont like it, period. but in my mind, if someone immigrates with a desperate family because they cannot wait the lengthy period of time it normally takes, then im willing to say, "you know what? i understand. work hard. dont betray my trust." that's just me, though.

dharma,

i dont think blanket immunity is the concept im working at. i doubt that most illegal immigrants receive a blanket immunity. they just have to make this type of crappy choice and hope for the best. but you are completely right: you do what you have to do, and this sort of crime really doesnt offend me.

TBT

drmiler

on Dec 20, 2004

Reply #23 By: Dr. Guy - 12/20/2004 5:32:59 PM
By the way Doc....there's nothing *in* chorizo that is gross. Now if you get in a casing that's different. The casing is what they call a natural casing which is cleaned intestinal lining. But then that holds true for *any* sausage in a natutral casing. So buy it in bulk instead.

nah! I love the casing! besides I dont know what is in it, I just know I like it. And I really dont care what is in it as I will continue to eat it (Unless it contains VIOXX;)

Hey Doc, if you want I have a pretty good recipe for making chorizo if your interested?

RazorFeather

on Dec 20, 2004

I'm not in any way offended by a guy running across the border or putting himself in a shipping crate for two weeks to get to America to get a job. I just think that there are legal ways to immigrate, and they should be used. If a person really wants to be part of the great country we live in, then he or she can spend the time and money necissary to immigrate legally.

As for undermining the system with your 30 billion dollars, can I laugh at you? Because, if you look at what the Govt. spends in a day, and what the debt is, and how much we spend on military, alone, that 30 bill isn't even a drop in the bucket. (Not to be critical, I know, that the money used provides help for needy people. Everyone wants to eat, have a place to call home, and etc.) There are ways to get a job for Mexicans in particular in the form of immigrant work positions, so it isn't like running the border is the only option these people have.

On angel's wings,
RFeathers

dharmagrl

on Dec 20, 2004

If a person really wants to be part of the great country we live in, then he or she can spend the time and money necissary to immigrate legally.

But it's not always that easy. Not everyone has the resources to do it legally. If people had the money to pay all the fees, then I'm sure that they would. But, they don't. You have to understand that the minimum american wage is a huge amount to some of these people.

drmiler

on Dec 20, 2004

Reply #28 By: dharmagrl - 12/20/2004 10:59:10 PM
If a person really wants to be part of the great country we live in, then he or she can spend the time and money necissary to immigrate legally.

But it's not always that easy. Not everyone has the resources to do it legally. If people had the money to pay all the fees, then I'm sure that they would. But, they don't. You have to understand that the minimum american wage is a huge amount to some of these people.

To come to this country legally does not take a lot of time or money. To stay here (immigrate) does take both in large amounts! At least with all the legal BS they throw at you if you want to stay.

kingbee

on Dec 21, 2004

To come to this country legally does not take a lot of time or money

if you live in el salvador and have no money it takes a couple days riding on the roof of a freight car to get to the border (assuming you dont get brained by the robbers who prey on those goin north or tossed off by law enforcement in honduras or mexico). then you just need to convince the guys at the bridge to let you in. no problem.

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